it was saturday night at my friends house i realize i couldn't focus on playing my game so i walk away from it, i go to charge my phone not being able to focus, i unplug and completely forget it bareley charge, then 5-110 minutes later i realized it wasn't plugged in. my friend laughs i laugh. i start to think somethings calling my name or is something calling my name? i thought that was funny too i walk around i walk into the garage and feel dizzy. i walk back i tell myself im not afraid because life was so stale i wanted something exciting. something thrilling. well i regret it. i started to think my friend can read my thoughts i started to tell him to look or walk in certain directions telepathically to see if he'll listen. i slowly more and more spiral out of reality as if im in a world thats falling into a big hole detached from life. i look at the tv and acknowledge my fear of technology again is this animal on tv looking at me can it see me? is any of this real. i think of everything i watched are they all my past lives is this tv a portal to somewhere can i stick my hand in it? why did one of my friends post a picture pointing at the televisions saying "this is the way" on instagram so long ago who are they who is everyone is everyone real are they robots? are they humans turned into robots. am i going to different realities if i kill myself will i be in another one fully consience and remembering where i just was am i coming to an awakening that this is my life or my reality? just in a maze for constant worlds and lives reliving being terrified which life is this. i think of white horses. something is coming for me something evil and supernatural that wants my soul my friends asks me if im okay. i dont answer. he keeps asking and then i do and say yes. i pause and tell him im not i cant tell him i dont know fully who he is. minutes ago when he walked towards me i almost felt threatened. back to minutes ahead i think of everything and how scared i was losing my sanity. whats going to happen it feels like i have this urge to hurt and kill people, innocent or random for no reason i cant focus on anything else i have a vison of myself my hands are tied up and feet to so i cant do anything. "i need to kill myself i said" but i didn't truly want to and deep down i didn't want to kill or hurt others. or was it that i didn't and deep down i did. i pray to get out of this i want to call for help but i dont know anyone and who wants to hurt me. who are the people that i talk to do they plan to hurt me if i tell the hospital everything will they try to kill me in secret and act as if i died some other way? i dont trust the hospital. i ask my friend if he thinks theyll kill me. i think of everyone in my life. someone like me that i can trust. i think of some friends are they angels do they want to help me should i help them. i think of another friend is he the devil does he want me to be the antichrist? my friend takes me home i think about everything how people are pushing drugs on people to get everyone to there side so they can be posessed my demonic spirits. when i go home im still scared i almost start to think strangers are outside because they know about me and that ive finally evolved into a threat. i refuse to believe it. i try to sleep but i dont.the next day i go to church i feel closer to peace and better after that and after talking to my sweet friend i thought was an angel. but still after church i am paranoid no longer high off of a drug either it had to of all been real and all this happened a year ago with out any influence of drugs while it was horrifying it was not like this time. i think of everything. i look at the tv how my moms watching a murder show how a random person kill someone for now reason. what if that could be me. is this happening to people everywhere? maybe they are a bot and on the internet wont be able to answer capthas or are all the demons living in the web? in tech? i tell myself its not real.